This is a week of HUGE milestones in my children's lives, leading into more milestones for the summer and fall. High school graduation, turning 5, and turning 16. Preparing to go off to college in the fall. Drivers licenses. Kindergarten. And it is all coming at me so fast. I am not ready.
Tonight my oldest daughter is graduating from high school. It wasn't that long ago I was putting her in her infant carrier to take her home from the hospital. Walking her in to her first day of school. Going to her first band concert. Watching her drive off for the first time by herself. Going off on her first date. Starting her first job. Her first campus visit. I am not ready.
Tomorrow my baby turns 5. It really feels just like yesterday that we brought him home. The first time he sat up on his own. Crawled. Walked. Talked. First day of preschool. Riding his bike. This weekend, learning to ride a skateboard. I am not ready.
Wednesday my twins will be 16. They were so tiny and small when we brought them home. Their little heads shaved in different places for IVs. Not even 3 weeks old and had already been through so much. Watching them grow stronger. Get into trouble together. Breaking a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor. Running away from me in the Walmart parking lot. First football game. First cheerleading practice. Fighting. Finding their own identities, more than "the twins." Starting high school. First prom. I am not ready.
I catch myself wondering what other milestones I will live to see. What milestones will I not be here for. College graduations? High school graduations? Starting middle school? High school? First dates/girlfriends/boyfriends? Drivers license? Marriages? Grandchildren? Salvation? Baptisms? I am not ready.
I have to remind myself that God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and that I have to trust Him (Proverbs 3:5). I can't worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). I need to enjoy today, to make the most of todays memories with my children and my family. Make memories not only for me, but for them to hold on to, as well. I have to live in the now. I am ready!
Lord, I pray that You would help me to stay focused on Your promises. Help me to live each day. To enjoy each day. Help me to put my trust in You and to know that You alone know the future. To know that I can rest easy in the knowledge that tomorrow is in Your hands and that You have a plan for me. All I need to do is delight in You and You will grant the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). In Your name, Amen.
And special thanks to a friend for the little nudge to get me going again! :)
~Delta
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34
Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires
of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
