Love One Another

A Grandparents' Legacy

"I give you a new commandment: love one another. 

Just as I have loved you, 

you must also love one another." 

John 13:34

With Valentine's day just last week I wanted to go in a different direction...

    We had a Love One Another banquet at church. The Sunday before, Sister V. asked the ladies of the church to volunteer to each decorate a table. The decorations were to tell a story or go along with a short devotional on loving others.

    I immediately thought of my grandparents. They are always my "go to" example of love. My grandparents love for the Lord and each other overflowed onto everyone that came into their lives. While their love for Christ, for each other, and for their family was strong, I believe Granny and Pa's greatest legacy was their love for others.

    Granny and Pa were not religious people. They didn't always go to church regularly but they were Christians. They loved God and served Him in their own way, following His greatest commandment to love others as He loved us. Pa even won a bible one time for bringing the most people to camp meeting.

    Their love for one another was evident for all to see in the way they treated each other. I cannot remember ever hearing them be disrespectful, raise their voice, or say an unkind word to each other. I know there were times they disagreed but they never argued in front of me. They took care of each other and in their 55+ years of marriage I know of only two times they were ever apart for more than a day or two. And if you were lucky, when he thought no one was looking, or if he wanted to be ornery and get a reaction out of you, you might catch him stealing a kiss.

    They loved their family. They raised 8 children who gave them close to 30 grandchildren and somewhere around 60 great-grandchildren. Their home was a second home. Holiday dinners, birthday celebrations and no special reason at all, we would all gather up at their house. Their door was always open -- and not just to us.

    There were many more that called them Mom and Dad and Granny and Pa. They took in and loved those, that for whatever reason, needed them. Brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, in-laws and relatives of in-laws, friends of their children and grandchildren, and neighbors. Everyone was welcome and once you were a part of the family, you were always a part of the family. Not even divorce could sever that tie. Only you could chose to no longer be a part of their family.

    They didn't have much in the way of material possessions but they were rich in love. What they did have, they shared. Granny and Pa opened their home up to many through out the years. They fed many mouths with the food they raised and grew and canned. They'd give you the clothes off their back and all the while shower you with their love.

Here are just a handful of my favorite childhood memories of my grandparents:

• One particularly cold and icy winter, I remember my Granny putting bread sacks over her and my shoes, held in place with rubber bands. We walked, slipped and slid, the 1/2 block to my great-granny's house to check on her and take her a hot meal. 
• My Pa sitting on the front porch talking to the little boy from across the street who was lonely. He was overweight, walked with a limp, and might as well have been an only child because the age difference was so great that he was the only child left at home at 7 years years old. He didn't have very many friends and most of the time was left behind because he couldn't keep up. Pa called him Jelly Belly, not to be mean, but as an endearment and because he gave all his grandchildren nicknames. Mine was Red, one cousin was Nail-head and one great-grandchild was Pain.
• The summer they took care of my great-uncle Wylie. He was sick and staying with them. He would lay in his bed and tell me stories about his hunting dogs. They were his children.
• One time during a family dinner Granny cooked a few steaks that she cut up into smaller pieces for all the "boys" (her sons) to share. Except one. She set it aside for my dad. When Mom commented on it, Granny informed her that Daddy didn't have his mother around any more to do things for him so she was going to.
• Snuggling up next to my Pa first thing in the morning. He'd tell me stories about the "old days" while Granny cooked us breakfast. He'd answer all my questions, tell me the same story I'd asked to hear a dozen times before, and sing. He'd sing me old hymns and nonsense songs I swore he made up only to discover they really were songs.
• This one isn't from my childhood but it is one of my most precious memories. My 80 year old grandma climbed up in a semi and rode 14 hours to come see my newborn twins. She got to see them for a total of 45 minutes because they were still in the NICU. She and my aunt spent the night, my uncle picked them up the next morning on his way back through, and she made the 14 hour trip home. <3

    Thank You, Lord, for giving me such a shining example of what loving others looks like. Thank You for the grandparents that loved beyond all measure. Help me to be more like them, to love others as You love them, as You love me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

~Delta

Why Not Me

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:2

Having trouble falling asleep tonight -- pretty normal for chemo eve. So, I thought I'd make good use of my time by doing a little writing.  I actually went back through my old Facebook posts hoping to find the one where I had already written about this; but, alas, I could not find it. I did however find the journal I had started...

When I switched shifts with my friend and mentor, Sally,  so that I could go have my CT scan, it put me working the next three days in a row, Friday,  Saturday,  and Sunday. At first it was a relief to be at work,  to be busy, to keep my mind off of it. As the days wore on it became harder and harder. Everyone was so wonderful offering their support and prayers and love. It was heartwarming and at the same time so very draining - to stay positive and smile,  to try and convince everyone, myself included, that everything was going to be okay.

My girls were so good to me. We were super busy at work.  Lots of new babies being born. And for whatever reason, I don't remember now and didn't write it down then, we had no tech that weekend to do our vital signs or to help with the many other tasks they usually helped us with. We all had full patient loads, doing all of our own vital signs, and getting new admits as soon as we discharged patients home -- all of that and every time I turned around, one of them was offering to help me out. To do my vital signs. To draw my labs for me.  To medicate that new mom for me. To bathe that precious bundle of joy. They were truly amazing.  I have said it many times. I am so thankful for my work family!  God blessed me beyond measure with that team of ladies! I miss them.

With knowledge came a heightened sense of awareness.  By the morning of the third day, I was so frustrated. I was hurting physically,  nearly unbearable pain. I was hurting emotionally.  I was fatigued. Physically and mentally fatigued. I was completely drained and I lost control right there at the east end nuses' station. I put my head down on my arms and started crying.

People used to ask me quite often if I ever asked God 'why me' or if I ever wondered my this happened to me. That morning, Sunday,  Oct. 7, 2012, as I sat there with my head down, crying into my arms, I did, for the first time and the last time, I did. I asked God, "Why me? Why do I have to go through this?"

He answered me. "Why not you? If not you, then who? One of your loved ones? Jim? Your mom? Your sister? One of your babies?" I said, "No, oh God, no!" He said, "Why not you? You are young. You are strong. You can do this. I will see you through."

And He has. God has been with me and my family. He's provided for us and kept His hand of protection on us.  I am so blessed.

~ Delta

Francesca Battistelli - Write Your Story (Official Audio)

Heard this song on the radio today. I'm sure I've heard it before but for some reason today,
I really heard it.
I'm believin'. I know You can make me new. I know
You are the author of my hope.

My life is Yours. My history is Your legacy.

Write Your story on my heart.

The News

     Monday, Oct. 1, 2012 I had my colonoscopy. Afterwards, Dr. M visited with me and my mom to tell us what he saw. He said it looked like I had an ulcer on my rectum right where it joined the colon. He said it could be either a benign ulcer or a malignant tumor but e really felt it was an ulcer and went on to discuss the treatment plan. "But." Biggest little word in the world. But he wanted to sen me for a CT scan to cover all bases. He scheduled the scan for the next day and told me I probably would not hear from him until Monday, Friday at the earliest unless something showed up on the CT scan.

    Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012 I managed to switch shifts on such short notice with one of the girls at work and went and had my CT scan. I felt sure it would confirm the benign tumor and all would be okay. I knew it was going to be a long painful time while we treated the ulcer but I was just thankful to finally know what it was and to know it would get better. I truly did not think it was going to be anything different. I did not think it was cancer.

    Thursday, Oct. 4, 2012 Jim and I were in the backyard doing yard work. I was covered in grass cuttings. My phone was in my back pocket and I felt it vibrate. The lawnmower was a pain to start, I was almost finished with my section, and I knew I was going to have to leave in a little while to go get my little man from school. Eh, I'd check it when I was finished. I just wanted to get the yard done.

    Shortly after, the mower chocked and died on me. Jim was still going at it so I decided I would check my phone while I waited for him to get where he could stop and come help me. My heart sank. The missed call was from Dr. M's office. Calling early. I knew. I got Jim's attention and waved him over. Together we went and sat down on the swing and held hands as I listened to the voicemail. It was the nurse saying that Dr. M would like to see me in his office as soon as possible that afternoon.

    I called Mom, told her about the message, made arrangements for her to pick up T and keep him until we were finished. I called the Dr.'s office back and set up a time to see Dr. M. We both just kinda sat there stunned for a few minutes as it all sunk in. We got cleaned up, showered, dressed and headed to the Dr.'s office. Just a formality really. Just to find out what the next step was. Just to ask, "how bad is it"

    Dr. M was very kind, very gentle as he broke the news to me that I it was a malignant tumor. He apologized for having to tell me such ugly news. He said he could not tell me what stage it was in, that he would leave that to the doctor's that deal with this kinda thing. He told me he was referring my case across the street to the cancer center. He assured me that the surgeon he was referring me to, Dr. D, was one of the very best. 

    I sat and listened, holding Jim's hand, tears silently sliding down my face. All I could think about was my children. They needed me. Jim needed me. I couldn't let this beat me.  I couldn't die.Do I have any questions? What? You actually expect me to be able to think? To process anything? We left Dr. M's office to await the call from the cancer center to schedule my appointment with the Dr. D.

    I called mom, told her what Dr. M said. I called my older children's father, told him that I was going to come get the twins for dinner and talk to them. When I got home, I sat my oldest daughter down and told her. I hugged her while she cried and tried to answer her questions as best I could at that time.  

    My Mom tried to talk me in to waiting until I knew more to tell my other two. She really didn't want me to make the two hour round trip by myself after receiving such news. I felt strongly about telling them, about being the one to tell them. I knew Jim had told members of his family. I didn't want to risk them finding out from some other source... turns out I was right for following my instincts.

    I drove the hour north, picked up my twins, took them to McDonald's and broke the news to them while we ate. Again, I tried to answer their questions. I tried to assure them that it was going to be okay. That I was going to be okay. I took them back to their dad's and started the drive home.

    I don't remember much of that hour drive home. I cried most of the trip. I cried out to God. I talked to God. I talked to myself. I made up my mind that I was going to fight with all I had. By the time I got home, I felt numb, I felt drained, but I also felt in my heart, that with God's help, I was going to make it through this!