Some chemo drugs make your hair fall out in clumps, by the handful. Within in a matter of days it is completely gone. Other chemo drugs thin your hair little by little, treatment by treatment. They stunt growth so your hair doesn't grow very fast, if at all. They are harsh on your hair making it appear that your hair has been damaged by too much processing. My chemo is the kind that thins and thins and thins.
After months and months of treatments my hair had become thin, showing my scalp. Particularly on the top around the crown of my head. My hair looked like it had been bleached ten times too many. It was dry, brittle, and fuzzy looking. After much inner debate I decided it was time to cut it and set the date for June 1st. To make it a "fun" experience for myself, I created a Facebook even and invited friends and family to send me hats and scarves from all over. I promised to post pics of the head shaving and pics modeling the hats and scarves I received.
The day came. My friend Amanda came over to the house. My husband used the clippers and cut my hair off as Amanda held my hand and my daughter videoed it for my Mom. I cried for the first few minutes then with their help started to joke and laugh about it. After my husband was finished with the clippers, Amanda went over my head a razor. I wanted a close shave.
Amanda had told me almost from day one that if I ever had to shave my hair she would shave hers with me. I just laughed. Deep down I knew she would though. So, on Sunday, June 1st, when she said she was shaving her head too, I told her no, she didn't have to do that. I wouldn't hold her to that promise. I knew what a big step that was. She told me yes, I was shaving her head that day. I told her no I was not.
Yea well, guess what? I ended up shaving her head that day! Towards the end of my head shaving she picked up the clippers and took a big chunk out of the front of her hair. After that I had to finish the job.
Through out that week several others shaved their heads in my honor. Beginning with my husband and youngest son. Monday evening I left to run an errand. When I returned, they were sitting there with burred heads grinning at me. Next came my father-in-law. Shortly after him, my brother-in-law. That weekend was my husband's family reunion. There were quite a few bald heads wandering around.
It started with my husband's cousin auctioning off to the highest bidder his head to be shaved. Then another cousin stepped up and auctioned his hair to the top bidder. My nephew decided he would be a little different and he started two bid sheets, to shave or not to shave. Which ever one had the highest bid at the end of the day would be the winner. (Every year there is a silent auction to help pay for the cost of the reunion.) He was lucky enough to have an aunt who didn't want to see him with his head shaved and he left with a head full of hair.
My oldest step-son, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. He has been growing his hair out for several years and it was down between his shoulders. He said he would shave his if some one bid a minimal of $50. The bid came in. The same aunt bid $60 to try to save his hair but another aunt bid $61 and his hair went bye bye. I told him I was sorry and he said to me, "It's just hair. It'll grow back. No biggie." I replied to him, "No, it's not JUST hair."
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard those three simple words this past year, well, I'd have some money in my pocket. It's not just hair. I don't know if I can put this into words and truly convey the way I feel. I imagine that many women, and men for that matter, feel pretty much the same way I do. LoL. I have been accused in my youth of my hair being my pride and joy. I guess in many ways he was correct. My hair was a part of me. It was part of what defined me. It wasn't just hair.
If it is just hair, why are billions of dollars spent on it year? It it is just hair, why are their professions devoted just to hair? If it is just hair, why do men and women alike spend hours and hours styling it?
If it is just hair, why did God use Samson's hair as the apparent source of his power (Judges 16)? If it is just hair, why did Mary use her hair to dry Jesus' feet when she washed them (John 11:2)? If it's just hair, why has God numbered the hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30)?
Because it is more than just hair. I know that I have not articulated very well my feelings on this subject. I think that some it is understood on a very basic universal level that doesn't necessarily need to be verbalized. Most people will understand. No matter how many times we flippantly tell ourselves and others, "It's just hair," deep down we know it's not just hair.
~Delta
